Circles are Lines and Lines are Circles
Often when we find ourselves in the midst of conflict in action, we look for evidence to support our case and we also look at the causal effects that led us to the disagreement. We want to know why? how? With apparent ease, we migrate into the chronological formula to map the timeline of who is right and who is wrong based on a linear, series of events.
The formula goes something like this:
“If you hadn’t done x” + “then I would never have needed to respond with y” = “and we wouldn’t be here at z”
The facade of the clock, however, is that even though it looks round, in actuality it is just a wound-up line. One that has ensnared us into countless cyclical, yet linear patterns of thinking and behavior.
Now that lockdown has been lifted, I’ve been practicing my zen as I’m back in contact with real, live humans. It is a blessing to return to a more integrated community and simultaneously, as with any community, there are disagreements of all shapes, sizes and orientations.
With the world and media in a constant state of emergency, an individual’s desire to have control over chaos grows. Is this why the need to have a timeline of blame seems to increasingly overshadow myriad other experiences, memories and encounters? Is it ever really as simple as a timeline as formulaic as a series of events?
Outside of our personal human to human interactions, we see a similar, linear pathway in business.
complete KPI/OKR x + title, network & payment y = professional success
In this case, however, we are setting ourselves up against a timeline of achievement. The logic? I can control chaos by putting it in a line with goals for me and everyone to see.
If I was still stuck plugging my OKRs into this formula, I’d be pretty far away from my goals to evolve my career. I want to stay focused on my broader goals and know that I’m working to achieve them without losing focus on the micro, positive, forward-moving changes happening everyday.
I would never say do away with the formula and I would never say choose one over the other. My practice now is finding the right mix of both.
When I’m working on anything on my laptop, I always have a legal pad or a notebook next to me. I also homemade a whiteboard by laminating paper and have it hung on the wall. I need the opportunity to both think and plan linearly and free form. Whether on a document or a call, keeping my notebook and pen active allow me to never feel boxed into format and free to get creative in the moment.
To collaborate, a coordinated timeline is necessary but so too is understanding. First and foremost — understanding yourself as a human. At 36, I am not brand new to work or relationships which means I bring both experience and baggage. Am I grounded enough to know what I’ve packed? Am I brave enough to share what I need and expect? Am I empathetic enough to provide the same space for others to share? Collaboration requires boundaries, processes and it also requires connection to both our light and our shadow.
So maybe that line is a million little dots, microscopic circles overlapping and interweaving. Are we able to perceive all of its curves? Its ability to connect one dot to the next? I’m working on knowing more about less because every line is really just a circle and every circle is really just a line.
